My day after Thanksgiving was spent listening to Jeff Goldblum spin my dreams on his piano — “It Never Entered My Mind”, to be specific. It’s gorgeous, as I sip on a semi-homemade apple cider (Whole Foods provided the juice, and I concocted the spices). A coffee bean scented candle brews the ambiance, and now the mood is set to drift back over the last six months of my life.
When I was younger, I used to think that you had one calling in life, and of course I wanted my main calling to be writing. I’m so grateful that God has given me this great passion. However, He has come to show me that lives are layered. Full of many gifts and callings and hats, and why not? Life is definitely more interesting this way. This is an account of my day job. Gaining the gumption to know when the season has finished, and when to jump head first.
The previous era of my life included many blessings such as, gaining a work family with some of the best people out there, immersion into Japanese culture, sinking my teeth in Human Resources (what makes it work, and what should be avoided). It has been such an adventure that God has used to grow me up and out of my former self. However, over the past year, or so, I began to feel like I was living groundhog day with more stress and less growth. After years of complaining about it, my mom challenged me to update my resume, and see what was out there. I dragged my feet on it for months, because the truth is that as much as I seemingly long for change, I can also be addicted to the comfort of familiar faces and routines.
Was I really ready to leave what I’ve built for something with no definition? In a flurry one night, I updated my resume and sent it out.
Over the last six months I’ve had a crazy frustrating, but eventually rewarding ride with the galaxy that is the job market in New York City. Three possible job opportunities, the last being a success. The first was a company I had seen on Shark Tank, one of my favorite guilty pleasures. They offered me the opportunity to interview, only to take the job completely off of the market a day before my interview.
I interviewed three times with a large business consulting firm that really seemed promising. Initially, I had second thoughts but in my desperation to leave my current firm, I thought, Why not? My meeting with one of their head managers would seal the deal, and after several successful meetings with his team, he thought I wasn’t right for them. You’ll never know how done I was with the whole business of job searching at this point. I was tired, in need of Christmas vacation after a long and tough job search all summer and fall (I had applied for over 100 positions), and I was determined to take a long break of searching if nothing paned out.
Finally I applied for one last job on Linked in. I didn’t really research, I didn’t plan, I didn’t try to make them like me…it was the first time I felt calm about it all. If it happened, wonderful…if it didn’t..well I had Christmas vacation to look forward to. Everything tried to come up against this job…I was even summonsed to Jury Duty during the final interviews, but they were so persistent with their interest, that they were willing to schedule the interview after my duty was finished. With one day of jury duty completed, the court system allowed me to leave after I told them about the interview. I still can’t believe they just gave me a free pass to leave after the many times I had postponed. Long story short, I found this company’s team interesting, and their on-boarding goals idealistic and dreamy.
The day before Thanksgiving they offered me the position.
My mind is still blurred by all of this. But I learned so much.
First: Be passionate about anything you want in life, not desperate. Desperation will drive you to move on something that may not be right for you. I’m so grateful to God for not opening doors on the basis of my whining.
Second: Trust God and His process of making you. When I prayed to Him in the beginning of my job search, I asked that He open a door to a position where I could truly shine, and grow, facing new adventures and challenges. The first two opportunities meant I would most likely be stuck doing the same things that drain me now. In the midst of my greatest frustration, Mom asked me what I had learned from these two experiences. At first, I responded with a sarcastic: “Nothing. They were a waste of time”. But now, I can see that had I not had those interview experiences, I would never know how to conduct myself. What to say to make myself an attractive candidate vs. what may cause the opportunity to fold. Note to self: follow the first tip…never respond with desperation…it shows, and it’s not a great look.
Third: God wants you to soar even more than you do. Even as I prayed to have a position to shine, I still sought out positions that would keep me behind the scenes. In a comfort zone. If you ask Him to enlarge your territory, He will, and although I’m a little apprehensive about taking more of a senior role to what my experience has been, I’m grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to see my own self in a new light. Not as this shy person who lets everyone else take the lead because they must have more qualifications or be more worthy than I am. But as a woman. A leader. Someone with something to contribute.
This change has released a flood of soul searching moments to consider what else I’m capable of….like my many novels I’ve been writing off and on all of my life. Here’s how good God is, not only is this a new day job, but at one of the Magazine/Media mega corporations, where even though this is not a writing position, one never knows what connections this might lead to when the time is right.
As I move further towards the new year, I’m thinking about new goals, after being so afraid to really set them for fear of failure. I’m thinking of the new people I will meet, the new adventures I will have, and more importantly, how to grow in both this aspect of my life, and my heart passions. How both can compliment the other.